I Was Rude.


This week I was really rude to a consultant.  We had been having a long meeting on difficult and weighty matters.  There was about 10 people in the room and the salary load on the floor boards made them sag – this was the essence of a big meeting.  There were different legitimate points of view being offered, defended and opposed.  It was great.  The consultants were doing their job.  In this particular case that meant saying why they thought what I was proposing as a solution was the wrong solution.  I am glad that they did – several times I stopped proceedings to make sure that a more junior consultant could get out on the table and express the reaons behind their convictions.  At the end, my perspective was clearly the prevailing opinion at the top of the food chain but around me, between me and the top, and among the consultants, there was a range of cowardly indifference and some outright sceptisim about the validity of the prevailing point of view.

As the meeting ended, one of the consultants positioned himself with one of the salary loads that made the floor boards groan the most.  He was explaining why their perspective really was right regardless of our decision and what sounded like, “when the way you go fails – remember that we advised differently.”  This pissed me off.

At the same time, another senior member of the consulting team appeared, ninja-like in front of me as I turned to walk from the table although I swear I had seen him across the table – 15 feet away, even as I turned my head.  He wanted to hand me a proposal for more work, unsolicited, in the manner that a subpoena is served.  He thrust the paper to me, I focused for a brief moment on his colleague posturing with the big salary load; I put my hands into my trouser pockets where they would remain, unable to recieve the proposal.

The qwik-pitch of the work was made and I responded emotionlessly that he should give it to “Sally”.  “I gave it to Sally!  You need to have it too.”  He was correct but my hands remained defiantly in my pockets.  He began speaking again and I walked around him and left the room as he was still raising and projecting his voice to speak to me.

Should I have been pissed off?  I don’t know.  Should I have been rude?  No.

Yesterday I called the consultant and apologized for my behavior.  He told me he hadn’t noticed any rudeness at all.  (He clearly trained at Hewitt at some point.)  Regardless, I was rude, that is unacceptable in me and should be for everyone.

That call was the best thing I did this week.


2 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Bill,

    What is the Hewitt reference intended to imply? Is it that Hewitt people have a reputation for being nice and polite? Or is it that they are clueless to the signals being sent? Or both?

    You are a better man than I given that you called to apologize. I am less and less tolerant of “bad” or even clueless corporate behaviors. I take your actions as the wake up to return to my core value of doing the right thing or as my people would say, being a mensch.

    I am trying hard to work with more with people of character both within my firm and in choosing clients.

    Great post!

    June 7th, 2010

  2. Rick – first off, sorry for the delay in approving your comment. I have been off doing other things (look for a new post on point.) The only silver lining is that it is so sweetly ironic that I was so rude in holding your commnet for over a month, when the topic is about being rude. I only wish I had planned it – alas, my incompetence has its own wry sense of humor.

    The Hewitt reference is actually a bit of a slur. Back in the day, (not so much any more, and probably not as all post their integration into/onto Aon) I felt that Hewitt people played against a very strict script for client interaction. My perception was that their training would never allow them to acknowledge the foilable of a client unless absolutely needed for the integrity of their work.

    July 14th, 2010

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